The Difference Between Your "Tipping Point" and Just Tipping The Scales

I've been thinking these past few days.  Well, probably overthinking. If you learn anything about me, learn this. I am one of those people who overthinks.  I mean, I over think about overthinking. Whoever made this, apparently knew me, because at least a half dozen people have sent it to me.

Now, in all fairness to me (which is not a luxury I usually afford for myself), I am working on this and have made great strides.  

Anyway, I have been working my sweet fanny off all weekend and trying to come up with a topic for a post that I was having trouble finding the time to write.  Overthinking wasn't really necessary. I had made the request to my facebook friends to let me know what they wanted to know and got a number of good suggestions.  So, I'm going to start using them toniiiiiiight!  

The following comment was left for me by Charlene Prehatny Ryan, a long time family friend who I've known since I was born. 

"I'm interested in knowing what actually pushed you over the edge to make a change...get disciplined about it...and keep it going." 

This is a good question for the simple reason that, the answer probably isn't what everyone might expect it to be.  Confused?  Intrigued?  Skeptical?  I can't blame you.  Here's the thing.  I can't tell you about all girls who grew up big.  I can't give you concrete answers about what we all think like or how we all feel, but I can tell you what I felt, thought, and dealt with on this topic.  

So, let's get down to business...

Did I not warn you about random Disney references?  Oops. 

Finding my tipping point, or the moment that pushed me "over the edge" wasn't exactly like the epiphanies that you see in movies.  It was a drawn out thing and maybe that's because I wasn't looking for it.  I look back with a certain amount of self-shaming knowledge that I didn't look for it because I was in denial that I needed to change.  I had spent so much time gaining and losing that I had basically resigned myself to thinking that it was a cycle that I didn't have control over anymore, so why worry about it?  Que sera, sera and all that...

Real Talk:

• I stopped getting on a scale when it said 260+lbs.  

• There are no pictures of me in existence from when I weighed more that 250lbs.  I became a plus-sized ninja if it meant avoiding a camera.  I was good.  I'd spent my whole life hearing that the camera adds 10lbs, which was bad enough, but then I saw a quote that brought things into focus (pun intended)...

Thanks, Abe. That's just what I needed to hear.  Dick.

So, I was big.  I wasn't changing anything though.  I'd promise myself that I'd start Monday, or next week or after the holidays, or my birthday or when I had a day off or any other day that I could put off.  In short, I wasn't ready.  Tipping the scales wasn't enough to be my tipping point.  Seeing the numbers climb was mortifying, but if you didn't get on a scale, then you didn't have to see it, right?  

Another thing was, I was uncomfortable.  I'm not talking about how I looked, which wasn't something I was happy with, but what I mean is that I wasn't comfortable physically. EV-ER.  If I was laying down, my body hurt.  If I was sitting, I couldn't sit still.  If I was standing, my joints hated me. 

Then, in November of 2011, two things happened.  

1. I got a job in the bakery at Costco Wholesale after 10 months of being unemployed.

2. My dad and uncle Jeffrey brought me a new car (I'd been without wheels for some time).

The car meant that my picture had to be taken since my dad was so excited to surprise me, but my new job became my tipping point.  

If you've never worked in a restaurant or kitchen, let me tell you--it's physical work.  A bakery the size of Costco's is even more so.  During Thanksgiving week, our average pie sales look something like this...

 

From Monday through Wednesday, we sell--

• 2,000-2,500 pumpkin pies
• approximately 1,000 apple pies
• 500+ pecan pies along with all of your other favorites...
• butter croissants
• danish
• muffins
• cookies
• breads
• dinner rolls
• bagels
• You get the idea, right?  Every one of those items has to be packaged, labeled and stocked by bakery staff. That's a lot of bending, twisting, lifting, stretching--

While there is a great amount of pleasure to be had for a foodie working with this amount of tastiness, you can imagine that it's hard to stay away from  it all.  I tested treats at the beginning--telling myself that I had to know how things tasted if people asked how they were.  Then, during that week of giving thanks, I realized something had to give, preferably before my zipper did.  

 

Yeah, that's not me, but that's a Costco bakery alright.

I was closing the bakery each night and as I was straightening croissants on the rack, I realized that unless I used my arms to pull myself up the rack, I couldn't get up.  That's not an exaggeration.  My knees couldn't get me back up.  I was getting home every night and practically weeping with relief when I got to a hot shower.  

That was it.  That was when I knew.  Something had to be done.  I couldn't work or play comfortably and both are things that are pretty big deals as far as I was concerned.  

It was with that reserve that I got through Thanksgiving and promptly made an appointment to have blood work done with my doctor.  I already knew what he'd say--I'd known for 2 years that I had hypothyroid disease, but without health insurance, I'd not been medicated or treated for a year.  It wasn't until this point that I realised how stupid I'd been to deny myself that treatment.  

More about the medical side of things next time...

For now, I'll leave you with this--

People can tell you that it's unhealthy for you to be overweight daily--

You can dislike how you look because of your weight--

You can become embittered due to how you're treated within society because of your weight--

You can hide from scales, cameras, social settings and physical activities--

Others can tell you what you should be eating or how you should be exercising--

but--

 

You are the only one who will decide when you're ready to change.  

You are the only one who can decide what needs to change.  

You are the only one who can implement those changes.

Untimately, you are responsible for finding your own way.  Others may walk beside you on the road, but you've got to be the one who decides where you're going.  In the end, you need only to tip the scales in your own favor and make a decision to change...