Still the Unfinished Swan...

Still the Unfinished Swan...
Left: 250lbs Right: 140lbs

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Motives: Let's Be Honest Here


mo·tive
ˈmōtiv/
noun
  1. 1.
    a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.
    "a motive for his murder"
    synonyms:reasonmotivation, motivating force, rationale, grounds, causebasis,objectpurposeintention
    "the motive for the attack"

I've read that the top motives for murder are as follows:
  • gain (i.e. money)
  • revenge
  • jealousy
  • personal vendetta 
Oddly enough, most people would say that these are top motives for anything.  If you ask people about getting healthy and what their motives are, they'll probably say, "I just wanted to get healthy!"  To this I say, "Child please.  We both know there are other motivating factors!"  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  There isn't.  I'm for whatever motive gets you off your ass and moving.  So let's talk about your anterior and your ulterior motives.  

an·te·ri·or
anˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
adjective: anterior
  1. 1.
    nearer the front

ul·te·ri·or
ˌəlˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
  1. existing beyond what is obvious or admitted; intentionally hidden.

Just about everyone (including myself) will tell you that they lost weight to get healthy or to feel better and while yes, this is a huge reason behind doing all that work, there are some other reasons that exist that many people think they should be ashamed of.  For instance:
  • To look good 
    • Ain't nothing wrong with that!  Most of us were raised that you should take some pride in your appearance.  For me, I was sick of having to hunt for large sizes.  I'd see cute things and half the time they weren't even available in plus sizes.  As I started to drop weight, I started to realize that I wasn't hiding from my mirrors as much.  
  • Spite
    • Ahh, spite.  The very notion of doing something just because someone told you that you couldn't.  Spite was also a motivator for me at one time.  There were times that I'd hear the whispers of people discussing how maybe I'd lose a few pounds, but I'd never be able to get to the weight that I'd set as my goal.  I hope that these people are reading this so that I may affectionately tell them to suck it.  
    • Tell me i cant, ill show you i can
  • Revenge
    • We've all had that breakup that ends up being better than any diet imaginable.  The one where you just can't eat.  Well, usually, within the first few pounds that disappear from a broken heart, you plotting to look your best so that he or she knows what they gave up, those heartless assholes!  Yeah, been there too.
    • At least I'm in training to be your hottest ex-almost-girfriend!
  • Personal Gains
    • I spent a number of years waiting tables.  It was fun for the most part and I was good at it.  There is one ugly truth in the serving industry though; the more "attractive" you are, the more money you're gonna make.  Don't get me wrong, I made money, but as I said before--I was good at my job.  If you'd taken me and one of the trimmer girls on the floor, she always seemed to make more money than I did.  Go to your local bars--9 out of 10 times, the bartenders will be beautifully figured women regardless of talent.  Please, do not mistake my saying this as me saying that all slim women are dumb or incompetent.  I'm just saying that in a society that holds a certain standard of beauty, to make money, using your pretty helps.  I was told on more than one occasion in the bars where I worked that I'd be a great bartender, if I just looked the part.  Sad, but true.
So, here's the thing.  I'm not saying that any of the above are "bad" motives.  They work in the short term, BUT beware you'll need something bigger if you want to succeed. The danger of taking the above motives too far, is that they can turn you into an angry person if things don't go the way you plan.  If you're reading this then you probably already know that life rarely goes the way we plan.  Look at the big picture here.  Get healthy and while you're doing that, you'll be hitting all the little ulterior motives at the same time.  Think of it as a bonus and if things do go the way you planned, then you'll be hitting the jackpot.  

Find what motivates you and remind yourself of it every day.
Motivation is like bathing.

Every. Damn. Day.

Please share what motivates you in the comments below and you can also follow me on twitter at @unfinishedswan.  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

My Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh Regarding the Death of Robin Williams...

Dear Rush-
     I googled you for the first and, God willing, only time ever today.  Why?  I was curious what would inspire such a tirade from Lewis Black.  Not sure what I'm talking about?  Well, upon logging into Facebook today, I saw that a good friend of mine had shared Mr. Black's update.  You should see it, as you were obviously the catalyst to it.

FUCK YOU Rush Limbaugh. Your statements were beyond cruel and stupid. They were intolerable. Enough is enough from you. You are an idiot. Don't you ever demean the death of another human being. He was my friend. You disgust me.
     I'll admit that I've never been a fan of yours.  Your holier than thou attitude grates on me the way nails on a chalkboard irritates most people.  I somehow doubt that you'll ever read this, and given that I agree with Aristotle's idea that "It is the sign of an intelligent mind to entertain a thought without necessarily agreeing with it", I know you'll not understand it if you do read it.  Wait, does that sound callous or perhaps short-sighted?  Am I not giving you enough credit?  Aww, well sugar, I suggest you get used to it. I give credit only where it is due.

     Please, allow me to explain a few things to you in reference to your comments regarding the "political" twist on the death of Robin Williams.  I've read the transcript on your website a number of times and cannot help noticing that you have no grasp of what depression is as a sickness, nor what is truly being glorified in the media surrounding the death of Mr. Williams.
   
     First off, you seem to think that it is only those in Washington that seem to look at news on a Global scale.  Odd, I hadn't realized that relocating to South Florida meant that I was to be lumped in with the "average TMZ watchers" that you reference in your transcript.  No, I don't live in the capitol, but being an educated, intelligent, and compassionate woman, I (like so many others) see not only the news that it thrown in my face by the major news media, but the stories that are shared throughout other channels.  This includes social media.  Fancy that!  I hadn't realized your dislike of social media and I would applaud you for your vehemence against it, but I couldn't help but notice in reading your transcript on your website, that you advertise your own Facebook page there as well.  I was even given the opportunity to share the article on my page.  Amazingly ironic that you yourself said, "You have so many people on social media who so desperately want fame.  You know it and I know it. " and here you are, on social media-- seeking fame.  Looks like you know and I know it--not to mention the rest of the world.

     You state in your transcript that you've never felt that suicide should be glorified.  Umm, I think  you've missed the point of the coverage on Mr. Williams.  No one is broadcasting "Look at Robin! So brave he killed himself!"  The bravery, the glorification is for the man who battled for so long.  It is for the man who put others needs ahead of his own by making sure that others were laughing, even though he could not.  Do you know anything about depression, sir?  Have you battled it?  Or do you, like many others, believe that because you plug the word into the Google box on the interwebs and read the first sentence of the results you see there, that you're an expert?  Let me give you a crash course in depression from someone who has battled it for longer than I'd care to admit.  Depression is that listless feeling that would keep you eternally in bed because you think that you've nothing to contribute to the world.  Depression is when you stop answering or making calls because you don't believe that anyone has anything to say to you because they don't really wish to speak to you.  Depression is seeing a car approaching while at a stop light and thinking that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if it didn't stop and just hit you instead.  Depression is sleepless nights at war with yourself imagining how much easier your family and so-called loved ones would have it if you were gone.  It is far from the selfish act that you paint it to be.  Until you've lain awake at night with these thoughts, you know nothing of depression.  You cannot fathom the ups when you realize your own value again, nor the downs when all the world is a darker shade of gray, yet you go on because it is expected of you.  You're clueless to the exhaustion after a day of convincing everyone that things are great before you go home to be alone with the demons you face.

     I wouldn't wish that sort of pain and anguish on my worst enemy, sir, but I can't say that if I saw you in those depths, that I'd extend a hand to pull you out.

     Robin Williams was a good man by all accounts.  His life, his work, his battle should be glorified!  If for no other reason than to raise awareness of a disease that most people think is little more than mind over matter.  You're worried about the coverage inspiring copycats?  Exactly how daft are you?  Even the most addled mind knows that without the star power, good works and decades of accolades, a suicide would not inspire the infamy of that of Mr. Williams.  Do you really believe that some random kid who wants to be popular is sitting around thinking that if he kills himself, CNN is going to be at his school conducting interviews about him the next day?  If so, you might want  to rethink that.  It is true that anyone would love to receive the accolades that Robin Williams has inspired, but you'd have to be that kind of human being to receive them.  Don't worry, you're in no danger of that when you go, sir.

     You state in your broadcast the reasons why Mr. Williams committed suicide.  I'd not realized that he'd told anyone his reasons.  Wait, he didn't?  Imagine that.  For any so-called "news" organization to give reasons for his suicide is laughable.  Not to mention irresponsible journalism, but you should be an expert on that by now, right?  Your assumption that the "leftist ways" are to blame for this instead of the disorder he faced takes you from irresponsible to delusional.  Good luck grasping at those straws.

     In parting, I would make a recommendation to you.  At the end of your transcript, you asked, "What do you think the percentage is of media people who are actually low-information, incompetent people themselves? "  Are you making a list?  If so, I hope you remember to include your name first and go from there.

With patent dislike-
Amy Klacik

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Friday, August 1, 2014

Means, Motive & Opportunity: The 3 Things You Need To Make The Change or Be A Murder Suspect

Means, Motive & Opportunity: 

The 3 Things You Need To Make The Change or Be A Murder Suspect


This is kind of a big topic to cover in one fell swoop, so I'm thinking we're gonna cover this in 3 parts.  Sound like a plan?  I think so and let's face it, I'm the one typing--so follow along.

I grew up watching a lot of Law & Order.  No, I mean, like, a lot.  Like, the theme was the 1st ringtone I ever bought when I got a cellphone.  It must be genetic.  My mom loved  Law & Order.  If there was a marathon on, she'd watch it--and let's be honest, there is always a Law & Order marathon on!  That being said, while I was growing up watching Jerry Orbach (who was the best detective on any incarnation of Law & Order) catch the bad guys, I feel like I got a pretty decent education in criminal justice.  Yes, most of it is very "Hollywood", but I actually retained a lot from television.  We'll discuss the medical knowledge that I got from watching M*A*S*H another night.  
Jerry Orbach as Detective Lennie Briscoe
Jerry Orbach
In recent years, my best friend got me into Psych on USA.  If you've not seen it and you have a love of random movie, television, and music references (and I assume you do since you're reading this and I pepper them into everything), check it out.  Anyway, it's a show about a fake psychic who helps real detectives solve crimes.  

Being the curious type, I always wanted to know who done it, so I guess I gravitated to these shows that required thought.  This may be the reason I don't do thoughtless reality TV.  Sweet Baby J!  Don't let me get started on that!  We will cover that nonsense another night when I can figure out how to justify such a tirade!  

Wow, sorry for the tangent, but where was I?  Oh yeah, what I learned.  So, apart from my miranda rights, I learned that the three things needed to be considered a viable murder suspect are...
  1. Means
  2. Motive
  3. Opportunity
Who would've thought that these are the same three things you're going to need if you want to change your life.  Tonight, we'll talk about having the "means"...

means
mēnz/
noun
  1. 1.
    an action or system by which a result is brought about; a method.
    "these pledges are a means to avoid prosecution"
  2. 2.
    money; financial resources.
    "a woman of modest but independent means"
    synonyms:money, resources, capitalincomefinance, funds, cashwherewithal,assets
.
While in a murder case, I'm sure that Lennie and the others would be looking at the first definition above, I'm going to talk more about the second part.  

Money
People will tell you that money doesn't buy happiness or that it can't solve all of your problems, but can we just be honest here?  I would say 90% of my problems would, in fact, be easier (if not solved) if I had the cash flow to handle them.  
 
When I made a decision to do things healthier, I found that it was not going to be cheap.  In fact, if I'd followed all of the advice I saw online and got from other people, I would have never been able to afford it.  Putting my medication costs (which are extensive) off to one side, the cost of a gym membership, good vitamins/supplements, healthy food, and the proper equipment to workout regularly (i.e. sneakers and workout clothing) added up quickly!  

I'm a big believer in the saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention".  It was time to start inventing!  Once I had health insurance, I could get the cost of my medication down with generics.  My gym membership offered corporate rates and my dad was good enough to help with that since he knew how important it was to me.  Healthy food was not so clear cut.  It did require some fancy footwork and imagination.  
Shitty Situations Inspire Awesome Solutions // oh yes they do! Necessity is the mother of invention #designinspiration
I was reading a lot about clean eating and what kind of meals I'd need to plan out and how the best way was to cook at the beginning of the week and portion things out.  That required a good amount of food.  Now, I was lucky here.  My big brother, David works for Costco (as do I, but it's better that we not work in the same warehouse--or area for that matter).  Because of his job there (before I got my job there), I was able to get one of the three family memberships he had to give away.  Being able to buy my proteins (meats, eggs, and even peanut butter) there, helped enormously.  If you are not a Costco member, do you know someone who is who might want to take you shopping?  You can shop with cash or a debit card as someone's guest.  FYI- You may NOT borrow someone's card and go shopping.  Don't be that asshole.  We don't like to have to call you out at the register, but we will.  If you don't know a Costco member, get a membership.  A basic membership is $55 for the year and totally worth it--especially if your local warehouse has a gas station.  Okay, that's the end of my advertisement for Costco.  You could substitute BJ's or Sam's Club in, but you will not find the same selection or quality of meats.  

What to buy from Costco that will save you the most money, and Costco shopping tips - pin now, read later.

While I did buy some of my produce at Costco when I started out, I began to look at alternatives. I am one person afterall and I couldn't freeze lettuce the way I could chicken.  With just a few Google searches, I found a few listings for local farmer's markets and the schedules and locations.  If you like fruits and veggies, a good farmer's market is like freaking Candy Land!  The trick is to go with a list!  Otherwise, you run the risk of buying too much and it going to waste.  Yup, I learned that one the hard way.  You can plan it all out and most of the vendors will work with you on the price (particularly when they get to know you).  
Farmer's Market. Since I live in Cal, I can buy strawberries, tomatoes (To die for), and avocados year round; plus honey; olive oil; eggs; wine; cheese; hormone and antibiotic free beef, pork, lamb, and chicken; of course fruits; vegs and flowers all grown within 50 miles. Prepared foods too: soup, salad, it goes on.

As for your healthy living equipment?  Well, below are some points as to what you may need and how I got it on a budget. FYI- Like Phyllis Nefler (aka-Shelley Long) from Troop Beverly Hills, I too have a black belt in shopping.  

Troop Beverly Hills. This is what my sister has--a black belt in shopping.

Kinvara 3 Saucony running shoes. I have had these for over a month and love love love them. I was looking for a shoe to replace my Nike Frees because I was experiencing knee pain. So far so good.
  • Sneakers:  If there is one thing that is a must if you're going to be more active, it's a good pair of sneakers.  Regardless of the brand you love, there are places to shop to avoid the hefty price tag of your normal Foot Locker.  Hit up TJ Maxx, Marshalls and if you have a DSW Shoe Warehouse, that'll work too.  If you can't find what you want and you have the time to wait, may I suggest eBay?  I know it sounds dumb, but I am an eBay guru!  Search for what you need and BOOM, you'll have tons of results to sift through.  
    • My best example?  eBay find: Puma race boots.  Retail: $135  I Paid: under $50 (including shipping)
Nike Tennis, Border Skirt -4 Colors : 405188 | Court & Kelly
  • Workout Clothing: Again, all your local TJ Maxx-like places are good, along with any clearance section you can find.  For me?  I workout and run in tennis skirts. I look better in skirts than shorts and since they have shorts underneath, they are super comfy and I'm not showing my cash and prizes off to anyone while I'm working out.  Where can you get them super cheap most days?  Thrift stores.  I live near a Good Will Super Store and I bargain hunt there regularly.  Some people don't jive with thrift stores, but I love them.  Think of it as an adventure.  Some people think they are too good to shop at a thrift store and to those boojee people I say, "Child please."  Tim Gunn wants you to "Make it work" and sometimes Good Will helps with that.  
    • Recent Good Will haul: 2 Nike tennis skirts, 2 tube shirts to walk in (I hate tan lines), 1 pair of jeans and a knick knack for my living room: $10. 
  • Supplements: I found good deals by asking my doctor where to find good deals.  When it comes to your vitamins, I found it was often better to spend a few extra dollars for the good stuff.  Discuss with your doctor what you should be taking.  
  • Other equipment:  Time to let your fingers do the walking, kids.  Look in your local yellow pages (probably online because who the hell has a phone book anymore?) for a used sporting goods store.  Near Fort Lauderdale (my hood) we have a place called Play It Again Sports.  You can find used weights, resistance bands and even things like golf clubs there for way less than normal retail prices.
Believe me when I tell you, I make poverty work.  If I can get the supplies together on my meager earnings, you can too. You have the means, my friends.  With that knowledge, rest assured, you're a third of the way there.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about motives.

focus on what you want your life to look like -- not just your body.  #healthylifestyle #weightlossrebels