Still the Unfinished Swan...

Still the Unfinished Swan...
Left: 250lbs Right: 140lbs

Monday, October 13, 2014

Some say I'm easily distr---Oooooh! That's shiny!!!

Wait, what?

Sorry I've been gone for a while, gang.  My laptop is headed for a landfill so finding ways to post isn't the easiest thing right now.  That aside, I should be more on my game.  I've also been taking an English course online (and getting top marks I must admit), but sadly--I don't get any of the credit.  Anywho--I'm back.

I've been remiss in a bunch of things as of late. My workouts have been few and far between and I've been eating like a 12-year-old boy.  Yeah, I know that's horrid.

It's actually one of the reasons that I'm determined to be better about writing.  I feel like I have to be walking the walk when I'm writing.  Otherwise, it's all hollow.  So here I am.

I've tried explaining this to my dad.  He doesn't quite get it I think, but I know he's trying to understand me a little better.  'A' for effort, Papa K.

Here's the best way that I can say it--  How can I tell people that they can find the time for any type of workout, when I can barely pull myself from my own bed in time for work?  Yeah, that's just a tad hypocritical, no?  Time to get on the straight and narrow.

I'm very fortunate that I have a marvelous support system.  One of my nearest and dearest, my Jodie-kins, is a freaking beast when it comes to her workouts.  She encourages me to do better, but also supports me through the times where I've bounced off the wagon.  Way to be, duck!  As a building, we have several women who are changing their routines and in doing so, their lives with their fitness.  It's a great motivation that we all trade tips--not to mention nail polish tips and where you can find great deals on sunglasses.  I have a great respect for these people.  They don't ask for anything from one another--we just support one another in any way we can with our journeys.  It's a shame that through most of mine, that hasn't been the case.  I'm still learning daily that not everyone wants to see me succeed.  Infact, there are those who would love to see me fail, but that's not an option for me.  I will win.  Not right away, but I will.

I know I'm all over the place tonight and I'm sorry, kids.  I'm exhausted, but wanted to let those of you following along know that I'm back.  Is there anything you want me to focus on for you?  Let me know.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Motives: Let's Be Honest Here


mo·tive
ˈmōtiv/
noun
  1. 1.
    a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.
    "a motive for his murder"
    synonyms:reasonmotivation, motivating force, rationale, grounds, causebasis,objectpurposeintention
    "the motive for the attack"

I've read that the top motives for murder are as follows:
  • gain (i.e. money)
  • revenge
  • jealousy
  • personal vendetta 
Oddly enough, most people would say that these are top motives for anything.  If you ask people about getting healthy and what their motives are, they'll probably say, "I just wanted to get healthy!"  To this I say, "Child please.  We both know there are other motivating factors!"  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  There isn't.  I'm for whatever motive gets you off your ass and moving.  So let's talk about your anterior and your ulterior motives.  

an·te·ri·or
anˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
adjective: anterior
  1. 1.
    nearer the front

ul·te·ri·or
ˌəlˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
  1. existing beyond what is obvious or admitted; intentionally hidden.

Just about everyone (including myself) will tell you that they lost weight to get healthy or to feel better and while yes, this is a huge reason behind doing all that work, there are some other reasons that exist that many people think they should be ashamed of.  For instance:
  • To look good 
    • Ain't nothing wrong with that!  Most of us were raised that you should take some pride in your appearance.  For me, I was sick of having to hunt for large sizes.  I'd see cute things and half the time they weren't even available in plus sizes.  As I started to drop weight, I started to realize that I wasn't hiding from my mirrors as much.  
  • Spite
    • Ahh, spite.  The very notion of doing something just because someone told you that you couldn't.  Spite was also a motivator for me at one time.  There were times that I'd hear the whispers of people discussing how maybe I'd lose a few pounds, but I'd never be able to get to the weight that I'd set as my goal.  I hope that these people are reading this so that I may affectionately tell them to suck it.  
    • Tell me i cant, ill show you i can
  • Revenge
    • We've all had that breakup that ends up being better than any diet imaginable.  The one where you just can't eat.  Well, usually, within the first few pounds that disappear from a broken heart, you plotting to look your best so that he or she knows what they gave up, those heartless assholes!  Yeah, been there too.
    • At least I'm in training to be your hottest ex-almost-girfriend!
  • Personal Gains
    • I spent a number of years waiting tables.  It was fun for the most part and I was good at it.  There is one ugly truth in the serving industry though; the more "attractive" you are, the more money you're gonna make.  Don't get me wrong, I made money, but as I said before--I was good at my job.  If you'd taken me and one of the trimmer girls on the floor, she always seemed to make more money than I did.  Go to your local bars--9 out of 10 times, the bartenders will be beautifully figured women regardless of talent.  Please, do not mistake my saying this as me saying that all slim women are dumb or incompetent.  I'm just saying that in a society that holds a certain standard of beauty, to make money, using your pretty helps.  I was told on more than one occasion in the bars where I worked that I'd be a great bartender, if I just looked the part.  Sad, but true.
So, here's the thing.  I'm not saying that any of the above are "bad" motives.  They work in the short term, BUT beware you'll need something bigger if you want to succeed. The danger of taking the above motives too far, is that they can turn you into an angry person if things don't go the way you plan.  If you're reading this then you probably already know that life rarely goes the way we plan.  Look at the big picture here.  Get healthy and while you're doing that, you'll be hitting all the little ulterior motives at the same time.  Think of it as a bonus and if things do go the way you planned, then you'll be hitting the jackpot.  

Find what motivates you and remind yourself of it every day.
Motivation is like bathing.

Every. Damn. Day.

Please share what motivates you in the comments below and you can also follow me on twitter at @unfinishedswan.  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

My Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh Regarding the Death of Robin Williams...

Dear Rush-
     I googled you for the first and, God willing, only time ever today.  Why?  I was curious what would inspire such a tirade from Lewis Black.  Not sure what I'm talking about?  Well, upon logging into Facebook today, I saw that a good friend of mine had shared Mr. Black's update.  You should see it, as you were obviously the catalyst to it.

FUCK YOU Rush Limbaugh. Your statements were beyond cruel and stupid. They were intolerable. Enough is enough from you. You are an idiot. Don't you ever demean the death of another human being. He was my friend. You disgust me.
     I'll admit that I've never been a fan of yours.  Your holier than thou attitude grates on me the way nails on a chalkboard irritates most people.  I somehow doubt that you'll ever read this, and given that I agree with Aristotle's idea that "It is the sign of an intelligent mind to entertain a thought without necessarily agreeing with it", I know you'll not understand it if you do read it.  Wait, does that sound callous or perhaps short-sighted?  Am I not giving you enough credit?  Aww, well sugar, I suggest you get used to it. I give credit only where it is due.

     Please, allow me to explain a few things to you in reference to your comments regarding the "political" twist on the death of Robin Williams.  I've read the transcript on your website a number of times and cannot help noticing that you have no grasp of what depression is as a sickness, nor what is truly being glorified in the media surrounding the death of Mr. Williams.
   
     First off, you seem to think that it is only those in Washington that seem to look at news on a Global scale.  Odd, I hadn't realized that relocating to South Florida meant that I was to be lumped in with the "average TMZ watchers" that you reference in your transcript.  No, I don't live in the capitol, but being an educated, intelligent, and compassionate woman, I (like so many others) see not only the news that it thrown in my face by the major news media, but the stories that are shared throughout other channels.  This includes social media.  Fancy that!  I hadn't realized your dislike of social media and I would applaud you for your vehemence against it, but I couldn't help but notice in reading your transcript on your website, that you advertise your own Facebook page there as well.  I was even given the opportunity to share the article on my page.  Amazingly ironic that you yourself said, "You have so many people on social media who so desperately want fame.  You know it and I know it. " and here you are, on social media-- seeking fame.  Looks like you know and I know it--not to mention the rest of the world.

     You state in your transcript that you've never felt that suicide should be glorified.  Umm, I think  you've missed the point of the coverage on Mr. Williams.  No one is broadcasting "Look at Robin! So brave he killed himself!"  The bravery, the glorification is for the man who battled for so long.  It is for the man who put others needs ahead of his own by making sure that others were laughing, even though he could not.  Do you know anything about depression, sir?  Have you battled it?  Or do you, like many others, believe that because you plug the word into the Google box on the interwebs and read the first sentence of the results you see there, that you're an expert?  Let me give you a crash course in depression from someone who has battled it for longer than I'd care to admit.  Depression is that listless feeling that would keep you eternally in bed because you think that you've nothing to contribute to the world.  Depression is when you stop answering or making calls because you don't believe that anyone has anything to say to you because they don't really wish to speak to you.  Depression is seeing a car approaching while at a stop light and thinking that it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if it didn't stop and just hit you instead.  Depression is sleepless nights at war with yourself imagining how much easier your family and so-called loved ones would have it if you were gone.  It is far from the selfish act that you paint it to be.  Until you've lain awake at night with these thoughts, you know nothing of depression.  You cannot fathom the ups when you realize your own value again, nor the downs when all the world is a darker shade of gray, yet you go on because it is expected of you.  You're clueless to the exhaustion after a day of convincing everyone that things are great before you go home to be alone with the demons you face.

     I wouldn't wish that sort of pain and anguish on my worst enemy, sir, but I can't say that if I saw you in those depths, that I'd extend a hand to pull you out.

     Robin Williams was a good man by all accounts.  His life, his work, his battle should be glorified!  If for no other reason than to raise awareness of a disease that most people think is little more than mind over matter.  You're worried about the coverage inspiring copycats?  Exactly how daft are you?  Even the most addled mind knows that without the star power, good works and decades of accolades, a suicide would not inspire the infamy of that of Mr. Williams.  Do you really believe that some random kid who wants to be popular is sitting around thinking that if he kills himself, CNN is going to be at his school conducting interviews about him the next day?  If so, you might want  to rethink that.  It is true that anyone would love to receive the accolades that Robin Williams has inspired, but you'd have to be that kind of human being to receive them.  Don't worry, you're in no danger of that when you go, sir.

     You state in your broadcast the reasons why Mr. Williams committed suicide.  I'd not realized that he'd told anyone his reasons.  Wait, he didn't?  Imagine that.  For any so-called "news" organization to give reasons for his suicide is laughable.  Not to mention irresponsible journalism, but you should be an expert on that by now, right?  Your assumption that the "leftist ways" are to blame for this instead of the disorder he faced takes you from irresponsible to delusional.  Good luck grasping at those straws.

     In parting, I would make a recommendation to you.  At the end of your transcript, you asked, "What do you think the percentage is of media people who are actually low-information, incompetent people themselves? "  Are you making a list?  If so, I hope you remember to include your name first and go from there.

With patent dislike-
Amy Klacik

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Friday, August 1, 2014

Means, Motive & Opportunity: The 3 Things You Need To Make The Change or Be A Murder Suspect

Means, Motive & Opportunity: 

The 3 Things You Need To Make The Change or Be A Murder Suspect


This is kind of a big topic to cover in one fell swoop, so I'm thinking we're gonna cover this in 3 parts.  Sound like a plan?  I think so and let's face it, I'm the one typing--so follow along.

I grew up watching a lot of Law & Order.  No, I mean, like, a lot.  Like, the theme was the 1st ringtone I ever bought when I got a cellphone.  It must be genetic.  My mom loved  Law & Order.  If there was a marathon on, she'd watch it--and let's be honest, there is always a Law & Order marathon on!  That being said, while I was growing up watching Jerry Orbach (who was the best detective on any incarnation of Law & Order) catch the bad guys, I feel like I got a pretty decent education in criminal justice.  Yes, most of it is very "Hollywood", but I actually retained a lot from television.  We'll discuss the medical knowledge that I got from watching M*A*S*H another night.  
Jerry Orbach as Detective Lennie Briscoe
Jerry Orbach
In recent years, my best friend got me into Psych on USA.  If you've not seen it and you have a love of random movie, television, and music references (and I assume you do since you're reading this and I pepper them into everything), check it out.  Anyway, it's a show about a fake psychic who helps real detectives solve crimes.  

Being the curious type, I always wanted to know who done it, so I guess I gravitated to these shows that required thought.  This may be the reason I don't do thoughtless reality TV.  Sweet Baby J!  Don't let me get started on that!  We will cover that nonsense another night when I can figure out how to justify such a tirade!  

Wow, sorry for the tangent, but where was I?  Oh yeah, what I learned.  So, apart from my miranda rights, I learned that the three things needed to be considered a viable murder suspect are...
  1. Means
  2. Motive
  3. Opportunity
Who would've thought that these are the same three things you're going to need if you want to change your life.  Tonight, we'll talk about having the "means"...

means
mēnz/
noun
  1. 1.
    an action or system by which a result is brought about; a method.
    "these pledges are a means to avoid prosecution"
  2. 2.
    money; financial resources.
    "a woman of modest but independent means"
    synonyms:money, resources, capitalincomefinance, funds, cashwherewithal,assets
.
While in a murder case, I'm sure that Lennie and the others would be looking at the first definition above, I'm going to talk more about the second part.  

Money
People will tell you that money doesn't buy happiness or that it can't solve all of your problems, but can we just be honest here?  I would say 90% of my problems would, in fact, be easier (if not solved) if I had the cash flow to handle them.  
 
When I made a decision to do things healthier, I found that it was not going to be cheap.  In fact, if I'd followed all of the advice I saw online and got from other people, I would have never been able to afford it.  Putting my medication costs (which are extensive) off to one side, the cost of a gym membership, good vitamins/supplements, healthy food, and the proper equipment to workout regularly (i.e. sneakers and workout clothing) added up quickly!  

I'm a big believer in the saying, "Necessity is the mother of invention".  It was time to start inventing!  Once I had health insurance, I could get the cost of my medication down with generics.  My gym membership offered corporate rates and my dad was good enough to help with that since he knew how important it was to me.  Healthy food was not so clear cut.  It did require some fancy footwork and imagination.  
Shitty Situations Inspire Awesome Solutions // oh yes they do! Necessity is the mother of invention #designinspiration
I was reading a lot about clean eating and what kind of meals I'd need to plan out and how the best way was to cook at the beginning of the week and portion things out.  That required a good amount of food.  Now, I was lucky here.  My big brother, David works for Costco (as do I, but it's better that we not work in the same warehouse--or area for that matter).  Because of his job there (before I got my job there), I was able to get one of the three family memberships he had to give away.  Being able to buy my proteins (meats, eggs, and even peanut butter) there, helped enormously.  If you are not a Costco member, do you know someone who is who might want to take you shopping?  You can shop with cash or a debit card as someone's guest.  FYI- You may NOT borrow someone's card and go shopping.  Don't be that asshole.  We don't like to have to call you out at the register, but we will.  If you don't know a Costco member, get a membership.  A basic membership is $55 for the year and totally worth it--especially if your local warehouse has a gas station.  Okay, that's the end of my advertisement for Costco.  You could substitute BJ's or Sam's Club in, but you will not find the same selection or quality of meats.  

What to buy from Costco that will save you the most money, and Costco shopping tips - pin now, read later.

While I did buy some of my produce at Costco when I started out, I began to look at alternatives. I am one person afterall and I couldn't freeze lettuce the way I could chicken.  With just a few Google searches, I found a few listings for local farmer's markets and the schedules and locations.  If you like fruits and veggies, a good farmer's market is like freaking Candy Land!  The trick is to go with a list!  Otherwise, you run the risk of buying too much and it going to waste.  Yup, I learned that one the hard way.  You can plan it all out and most of the vendors will work with you on the price (particularly when they get to know you).  
Farmer's Market. Since I live in Cal, I can buy strawberries, tomatoes (To die for), and avocados year round; plus honey; olive oil; eggs; wine; cheese; hormone and antibiotic free beef, pork, lamb, and chicken; of course fruits; vegs and flowers all grown within 50 miles. Prepared foods too: soup, salad, it goes on.

As for your healthy living equipment?  Well, below are some points as to what you may need and how I got it on a budget. FYI- Like Phyllis Nefler (aka-Shelley Long) from Troop Beverly Hills, I too have a black belt in shopping.  

Troop Beverly Hills. This is what my sister has--a black belt in shopping.

Kinvara 3 Saucony running shoes. I have had these for over a month and love love love them. I was looking for a shoe to replace my Nike Frees because I was experiencing knee pain. So far so good.
  • Sneakers:  If there is one thing that is a must if you're going to be more active, it's a good pair of sneakers.  Regardless of the brand you love, there are places to shop to avoid the hefty price tag of your normal Foot Locker.  Hit up TJ Maxx, Marshalls and if you have a DSW Shoe Warehouse, that'll work too.  If you can't find what you want and you have the time to wait, may I suggest eBay?  I know it sounds dumb, but I am an eBay guru!  Search for what you need and BOOM, you'll have tons of results to sift through.  
    • My best example?  eBay find: Puma race boots.  Retail: $135  I Paid: under $50 (including shipping)
Nike Tennis, Border Skirt -4 Colors : 405188 | Court & Kelly
  • Workout Clothing: Again, all your local TJ Maxx-like places are good, along with any clearance section you can find.  For me?  I workout and run in tennis skirts. I look better in skirts than shorts and since they have shorts underneath, they are super comfy and I'm not showing my cash and prizes off to anyone while I'm working out.  Where can you get them super cheap most days?  Thrift stores.  I live near a Good Will Super Store and I bargain hunt there regularly.  Some people don't jive with thrift stores, but I love them.  Think of it as an adventure.  Some people think they are too good to shop at a thrift store and to those boojee people I say, "Child please."  Tim Gunn wants you to "Make it work" and sometimes Good Will helps with that.  
    • Recent Good Will haul: 2 Nike tennis skirts, 2 tube shirts to walk in (I hate tan lines), 1 pair of jeans and a knick knack for my living room: $10. 
  • Supplements: I found good deals by asking my doctor where to find good deals.  When it comes to your vitamins, I found it was often better to spend a few extra dollars for the good stuff.  Discuss with your doctor what you should be taking.  
  • Other equipment:  Time to let your fingers do the walking, kids.  Look in your local yellow pages (probably online because who the hell has a phone book anymore?) for a used sporting goods store.  Near Fort Lauderdale (my hood) we have a place called Play It Again Sports.  You can find used weights, resistance bands and even things like golf clubs there for way less than normal retail prices.
Believe me when I tell you, I make poverty work.  If I can get the supplies together on my meager earnings, you can too. You have the means, my friends.  With that knowledge, rest assured, you're a third of the way there.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about motives.

focus on what you want your life to look like -- not just your body.  #healthylifestyle #weightlossrebels



Thursday, July 31, 2014

Oh, NO They DIDN'T!

So far, this little project of mine has proven to been quite fulfilling and I'd like to think it's been pretty informative too.  Yeah, that's all well and good, but I'm more of a storyteller than a teach I think.  I don't know actually.  If you know me personally, what do you think?

Regardless of all that, I thought since I'm short on time tonight (I'm mooching free wifi from the Starbucks where I work), I'd take a few minutes to relay some of the more idiotic things people have said to be both when I was heavier and now that I've lightened my personal load.

I understand that when you've known someone for a long time (even as an acquaintance), sometimes you might get a little too comfortable and overstep your boundaries.  This happened when I first started working at Costco.  Working in my warehouse was a woman who used to be a busser when I worked at Shula's On The Beach in Fort Lauderdale.  We'd known each other while we were both there, but I'd by no means, classify us as "friends".  She wasn't the most industrious person and with at least 20 years of age between us, we didn't really have anything to talk about.  


About a month into me working at Costco, I was leaving the warehouse while she was working at the door (checking receipts and whatnot).  I had her look in my purse to make sure I'd not pilfered any big screen TV's or a few dozen batteries and as I was about to walk away, she pulled me to one side of the door. "Mamaaaa," she looked so concerned before asking, "are you pregnant? You got so fat since we worked together!  You have baby, right?"   Every woman who has been wrongly questioned about pregnancy can attest to the red haze that suddenly rolls over your vision when this happens.  It's like the world spins for a moment, everything gets red and foggy and you can't really breathe normally.  Thankfully, I don't have full blown anger issues.  No, I wouldn't kill anyone.  I won't commit to not wanting to maim anyone though.  

In this situation in particular, I was especially offended.  (side note: anyone who knows me, knows that it's almost impossible to offend me.)  It's not as if this woman was a damn supermodel!  No, she's damn near trollish by all accounts.  Seriously, picture a troll in your mind.  Go ahead, I'll wait. 

Got it?  

Does this help?

So, who the hell thinks it's a good idea to call me out on my chubbiness?  Did she think that it could have somehow escaped me that I was fat?  Was she under the impression that I didn't own mirrors?  Either way I was shocked when I shook my head to signal that, NO, I was sure as hell NOT pregnant.  My friends would usually tell you that I'm a master at the witty retort, but for a second, I was caught flat footed.  Luckily for me, it was only a second.  Before I walked away, I just smiled and said, "No, I'm not pregnant, Mama.  I'm working on it though. I'm just glad I'm still young enough to do something about it.  I'd hate to get to your age and then realize I was beyond help."  Her eyes got wide--I smiled my sweetest smile and walked away.  

Now, let me be clear about something.  I don't believe it's every too late to get healthy and start doing things right.  BUT, if you're gonna play dirty by asking such a personal and damn near intrusive question, I will go there and hit you below the knees.  I'll be tactful about it, but you will in fact learn your lesson.  

Again at work, recently, I saw a member who I've known for years.  Their family shops pretty often, but I'd not seen them as of late.  When I did, we spoke for a bit and while the wife politely complimented me and asked about I'd done, her husband suddenly said, "Wow, I'll bet your sex life is so much better now! You can probably get it whenever you want it!"  I'm not sure who was more rattled by the statement; me, his wife, or him when he realized how furious she was.  

I'm of the opinion that knowing your audience in any setting is important.  You've got to know what you can say and where you need to draw the line.  In this case, I figured given where he'd just drawn the line, I could go pretty damn far.  So...I did.

"Well, not that it would be anyone's business, but I've never had an issue there.  Oh, and two other things.  1. I'm a woman and can therefore always get it whenever I want it. And 2. I dropped weight, not my fucking morals."

I'm not sure this post really has a moral to the story today.  That might be because I'm exhausted. Or it could be just a PSA to say, "BE PREPARED."  You're gonna hear all sorts or weird things along the way.  Some people will be happy for you., some will hate you.  If nothing else, you will learn who your friends are.  Also, if I could recommend one thing through all the BS people will say to you--keep your sense of humor about things.  You're gonna need it.

Try not to take things personally; what people say about you is a  reflection of them, not you.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Doing The Math: How Small Steps Add Up To Big Things

For my friend Sandy - small changes consistently - that's what we have to remember

I'm noticing that a lot of people think that to change your lifestyle and therein, your life, you've got to overhaul everything overnight and start fresh!  Yeah, I'm sorry, but in the illustrious words of Kimberly "Sweet Brown" Wilkins, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"  A major overnight overhaul would take time and money that I, for one, did not and do not have.  Some of us, after all, are ballin' on a budget as they say (by "they" I mean these crazy kids on the street.) 

Due to these restrictions and partially because I didn't want to lose what's left of my sanity (people who know me would tell you I've none left to lose, but they're just as looney as I am, I assure you), I started with making tiny changes and over the first few weeks, they started to make a difference.  Remember, you're not going to achieve huge results overnight!  It's took more than a day to gain it, it's gonna take more than a day to lose it.  I know that I struggled with that thought for a long time.  I think anyone who has tries traditional "dieting" has.  You start thinking, "Well, I ate healthy today and I worked out today, so I better wake up skinny tomorrow!", right? I did it too and looking back now, I see that it was those thoughts that set me up to be disappointed and then discouraged as time went on.  

Most people think that little changes can't really amount to anything big, but I think there if something fundamentally wrong with that line of thinking.  If you think about it, the Grand Canyon was formed by water over time.  Yes, we want to achieve results faster than that, but you get my drift, right?  

There are things that you can easily change and then move up to harder things.  This is just like you would do it at the gym.  You don't start out benchpressing Buicks.  You start with the bar and work your way up.  This is not a Rocky movie. Getting leaned out and bulked up while "Hearts On Fire" plays is not real life, but over time with the little changes you make, you can, in fact, defeat the Ivan Drago that is your weight/body issues. 


Some things to consider trying...


Little Change to BIG Difference
1. STOP looking for a close parking spot! God saw fit to give you two good legs. USE them! There are plenty of spots further back and your car stands less of a chance of getting hit. That's a win/win situation. 
  • If you're walking more, you're burning more calories. You're working your muscles more and you won't even notice at first--then BAM! 
2. When you' have using up the food you have at home and you run out of a "processed" food, do not replace it. Make a gradual slide into raw foods.
  •  Processed foods are full of the junk you don't need and seldom has the nutrients that you do need. As you replace things, buy more raw food (proteins, veggies, fruits, etc…) 
3. Ditch the elevator and hit the stairs. 
  • This is a no-brainer, peeps. Also, stairs are great for your ass. Trust me on this. 
4. Use small plates and bowls instead the the large standard one. 
  •  The optical illusion that the plate is full helps you feel full. Silly, right? Well, not really. A standard dinner plate in Europe is 8-9 inches. Here? 12-15 inches. I know I was taught to clear my plate as a kid and a bigger plate means you put more on it and then you clear it. It's actually pretty brilliant when you think about it. 
5. Don't JUST sit there! Do something! If you're intent on watching that movie or the latest Criminal Minds episode (I know Shemar Moore motivates me. Oooooh, girl!) don't JUST sit still. Grab something you can work your arms with or do some leg raises from the edge of the sofa.  If you don't have any weights at the beginning, use soup cans. I have resistance bands that I hide under the sofa. 
I heart him .....
Hey Baby Girl, 1 more set, okay?
  • Same idea as before…burn more calories and you'll start seeing a difference. 
6. Brown bag your lunch. 
  • Packing a lunch full of good food means you won't be going out for a burger and fries. Set yourself up for the success you're looking for and if you HAVE to buy lunch, try to split something with a friend. Jodie and I split lunch at work all the time. Also, having a lunch buddy means that you'll have someone to encourage good decisions. Remember, having support can help you get the results that you want. 

Here's the thing to remember-- DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED! 

You're in the for the long haul and you're going to move up to bigger changes and better things, but this is a good place to start!  

Sometimes I think that I'm the last one to see change, but I think some times I just don't acknowledge it.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Backsliding -vs- Yo-Yo Dieting: The Ability to Learn From Mistakes

So, my friend Christine Radochonski has asked me to talk a little about "backsliding" and I thought it would pair well with yo-yo dieting.

Christine Radochonski Girl, this is badass. One thing I'd like to see-- just in general-- is talk about "backsliding." Whether you ever did or not I feel like a lot of people throw their hands up and say, "I don't have the willpower!" FALSE. We all do, but it's about managing. I would love to see what you have to say.

Excellent post 

As you can see, this Chicago girl is not only great for my ever-fragile ego, but is also posing a thought provoking issue for discussion.  Well, let's start at the very beginning, as Fraulein Maria taught us in The Sound of Music, it's a very good place to start.  

*Side note: After making that reference, I just sat here and sang Do, Re, Me from The Sound of Music to myself.  Don't judge me. 

What the f*%^ IS this BACKSLIDING you speak of?

back·slide
ˈbakˌslīd/
verb
gerund or present participle: backsliding
  1. relapse into bad ways or error.
    "converted vegetarians backslide to T-bones"
    synonyms:relapselapseregressweaken, lose one's resolve, give in to temptation,go astray, leave the straight and narrow, fall off the wagon
    "many things can cause dieters to backslide"

So, even I was shocked with I saw the definition above.  Apparently, the term is so prevalent to dieting that they used it as the best example in a sentence about dieting.  Well, isn't that just freaking peachy?  The fact of the matter is, very few people have a completely linear journey when it comes to losing weight (especially when it is a significant amount).  We all face temptation.  We all get cravings. Ladies, we all fight the battle of water weight and the nightmare of PMS. 
Feed a cold. Starve a fever. Give PMS ANYTHING it wants.

I am happy to report that I am no different!  I was a pro at yo-yo dieting for a very long time.  I could drop 15 lbs, but then magically I would gain back 20lbs. So, then I'd lose 25lbs and then, POOF! Up 35 lbs.  To be honest, this is a pretty honest depiction of what it's like for women who struggle with their weight...

The extended effects of yo-yo dieting. This is exactly why you DO NOT DIET. No one ever likes hearing this out of my mouth, but the only way you are going to lose weights and keep it off is to make a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. Eating healthy and exercise. Dieting will set you up for failure. Every time.

This was one of the ways that I found out that fad diets were linked to yo-yo dieting and that "dieting" isn't really the answer to anything.  Remember, you aren't dieting once you commit to this!  You're changing your lifestyle! Yes, that's hokey, but it's also true.  Here's the skinny on what happens when you yo-yo diet--
yo-yo-dieting

It's no coincidence that it's a circle.  If there is one thing that The Lion King taught me, it's that there's a circle of life--also, never trust your uncle named Scar. 

Now, backsliding isn't really the same as yo-yo dieting.  The yo-yo effect is more of a derailing of your lifestyle.  It's what happens when you give up, only to realize that mistake once you've pack weight back on to the extreme of ending up heavier than before. 

No more yo-yo dieting!

When you backslide, it's a temporary setback.  When you're really committed to the new lifestyle that you're creating, you'll find your way back on the wagon. It's very much the same analogy of falling off your bike.  You've got to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on if you want to get anywhere. Yes, I do have episodes when I backslide.  Some worse than others.  Usually, I chalk it up to stress or life trauma in some way. 

Recently, I've actually battled with this.  Sometimes, I am guilty of losing track of what I'm doing.  In May of this year, my stepmother passed away suddenly.  I confess that in the stress of loss, going home, a funeral, and trying to help not only my father, but my two stepbrothers through their own grief, I added weight.  Didn't happen overnight, but I suddenly woke up after I'd been home for two weeks after the funeral and realized that my favorite jeans were harder to button.  

What had I been doing differently?  What had I not been doing at all?  What was I doing to excess?  

It was a number of things. 

What I did differently: While I was home, I ate whatever was put in front of me and we all know that during a time like that, the only food around tends to be comfort food.  

Why can’t I be comforted by carrots? Why does it have to be chocolate or wine? | Snarkecards

What I hadn't been doing: I wasn't keeping myself accountable.  I use different apps to log my food and exercise on a regular basis.  I hadn't been doing that.  I also wasn't working out.  I was listless, but so exhausted that I wasn't moving to do anything unless I had to be at work.  

What was I doing to excess: Eating and sleeping.  It's that simple.  

There's a certain amount of shame involved when you backslide.  For me, it's not because someone may notice or say something about it.  It's more personal than that for me.  I may be categorized as "self deprecating" by most people.  I can not only laugh at myself, but have no trouble with berating myself.  It's not a good thing by most standards, but I've always explained it to people that it's something of a defense mechanism.  If I've already shot me down, how can I be hurt when someone else does it?  I can't.  Like I said, not good, but another thing I'm working on.  So, for me, when I backslide, I've let me down.  I'm supposed to be smarter than this, darnit! I am, obviously, but it doesn't mean I don't have my moments and thankfully, I'm learning to accept that I'm human.  I get over it.  
You hit like a BITCH!!!

Backsliding isn't only about willpower.  It's about consciousness.  Each day we need to make a conscious decision about how we're going to live that day; including what we eat, drink, and how we spend our energy.  I suppose most people would say that willpower is linked to that, but I think it's more about clear thinking.  For me, it's about acknowledging why I'm making these decisions, how they will benefit me, and understanding that whatever I decide, I have to live with the consequence.  

Do not equate backsliding with failure. You aren't a failure.  It's a detour perhaps, but you can't let it allow you to get lost of the journey.  Find your way back to the right road.  Use the tools at your disposal, whether they are apps, measurements, or your best girl friends who you share your journey with.  I'm somewhat put off by women who like to announce that they did this or that on their own. "By myself!"  Why is that supposed to be a good thing?  No one is saying you have to do it by yourself.  The resources are out there to help with the cravings, the motivation, and the moves to get results.  You don't get extra points for doing it alone.  If you choose to do it alone, that's fine, but don't go looking for applause.  My friends and family would tell you that I didn't share the details of my weightloss with them, but that doesn't mean I was alone.  

More about my motivation and support system another day, but let me close by saying this again.  Backsliding happens.  When it does, you've got 2 options.
  1. Let it detail you from all the work you've done.
  2. Let it teach you why you've been working so hard and get your shit together.  
That pretty much sums it up.  

What I Learned From The Great Backslide of 2013...




Monday, July 28, 2014

Figuring Out Your Thyroid: The Struggle is REAL.

Since beginning these posts, a number of people have messaged me to ask if I have any other "health issues". So, I thought we should  talk about a tiny organ that is a huge player in the game of your health.  Please note that I said health and not weight.  While it can affect your weight, your general health can be greatly affected by thyroid function and should not be overlooked.

Most people know they have a thyroid and not much more about it.  Ironic, since that little bastard controls a host of things in your body.  Here's some stats that will help with my little lesson:

Picture of Human Thyroid Gland

According to WedMd.com, the following is the general information regarding what your thyroid does...

  • The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland that sits low on the front of the neck. Your thyroid lies below your Adam’s apple, along the front of the windpipe. The thyroid has two side lobes, connected by a bridge (isthmus) in the middle. When the thyroid is its normal size, you can’t feel it.
  • Brownish-red in color, the thyroid is rich with blood vessels. Nerves important for voice quality also pass through the thyroid.
  • The thyroid secretes several hormones, collectively called thyroid hormones. The main hormone is thyroxine, also called T4. Thyroid hormones act throughout the body, influencing metabolism, growth and development, and body temperature. During infancy and childhood, adequate thyroid hormone is crucial for brain development.
I learned at a pretty young age that the thyroid could affect your weight.  I come from a family where thyroid problems run rampant on both sides of the gene pool.  Lucky me! Don't get me wrong, I got some awesome genes handed down from my family.  I lucked out and got my mother's Italian skin and long eyelashes.  I'm convinced that my liver is the champion that it is because of my dad, but my thyroid is also a chip off the old  block and that isn't the best of all situations.  

As a chubby kid, my doctor used to tell me to not eat sweets and to be more active in order to lose weight.  No one ever really thought to check my thyroid.  They just figured that since my dad and brother are so thin, that I must be a lazy kid and the fix would be the classic mantra of "eat less/move more".  

Then, when I was in my late 20's, I saw a new doctor in Florida who took one look at me and said, "Yeah, I wanna run blood work on your thyroid."  Here's why...I had one of the most physically visible signs of thyroid disease and never knew it.  I always thought that my neck was just fat because the rest of me was.  Turns out, it's symptom of thyroid trouble. 

There are two main catagories when it comes to thyroid diagnosis:
  • Hypothyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid gland does not make enough thyroid hormone.
  • Hyperthyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid gland makes too much thyroid hormone. The condition is often referred to as an "overactive thyroid."
 Here are some of the symptoms of both conditions...


Now, I will say that I had most of the things listed above, but I actually didn't think much of most of them.  My dad always said I was a dramatic kid.  Maybe I was making too much of this stuff.  I mean, I'm forgetful, but who isn't?  Mood swings?  I'm a Cancer who is ruled by the moon and tides.  Dry skin?  I live in Florida and I love the sun.  Weight gain?  I wasn't eating right, so obviously I'm gonna gain, right?  

The proverbial straw that broke this camel's back was when I was detangling my hair in the shower one day.  I pulled my hands out of my hair, expecting to need to rinse a few pieces of hair off my hands.  What I saw made my knees buckle so I had to sit on the tub floor.  My hands were covered in hair.  I've always been one of those women who sheds like a cocker spaniel, but this was excessive, even for me.  I cleaned my hands off and when I got out of the shower, I looked at my hair brush, which was full of my hair.  I knew this wasn't something that happened overnight, but how the hell had I not noticed it?  

I'd love to say I'm not a vain person, but I think we all have physical fears and I'm no different.  My top 3 fears (regarding my body):  1. Losing my teeth. 2. Developing a hutchback. 3. Losing my HAIR! 

Naturally, no woman wants her hair to fall out.  So, I was bound for blood work.  When that came back, I learned all sorts of things about trying to help my thyroid function normally.  I mean, for me, I have to be medicated with the t4 (Synthroid) and t3 (Cytomel) hormones since I'm unlucky enough to be deficient in both, but I knew that there was more I could do.  My best friend could tell you that I was that kid who, even before the internet became a go-to source for information, I loved research.  If it meant digging through book shelves and encyclopedias at the library?  Yeah, I'm down for that.  I used to hide these traits about myself, but let's face it--Nerdy is the new sexy, right?  No?  Well, I'm rolling with that.  Anyway, now that we have the almighty Google to search the interwebs, research has gotten more fun.  There are countless sources for information.  Are you an electronic hoarder like I am?  Search Pinterest!  So many great pins detailing thyroid symptoms, treatments, supplements, power foods, and so on and so forth and all the rest.  

Okay, so where was I going with all this?  

I don't want people to think that this post is basically saying that if you're adding weight or having trouble losing that you must have a thyroid condition.  That's not what I'm saying.  Sometimes it is just a matter of changing your lifestyle.  For me, and I can only really share my story with you, it wasn't.  Before my diagnosis (and at other times when I was unable to be on medication due to the cost) I was eating under 1,000 calories a day and gaining weight steadily.  

The bottom line is, if you think that your thyroid is causing detours in your journey to the physical goals you've set for yourself, get checked.  Don't wait for your doctor to mention it.  Tell them you want to be tested.  If that's not the problem, then you can rule it out.  If it is, then you know and can begin to adjust your routine accordingly.  

The question you're probably thinking is, "So, once you get medicated the weight comes right off, right?"  

The answer to that is, "no".  Once I was able to normalize my hormone levels, I was able to effectively use diet and exercise to get results and that was a big part of the battle.  The bottom line is, if you think that you could have an issue--with any part of you--get it checked!  Each of your organs (with the exception if your appendix, which is just there to maybe burst and then screw shit up) has a role to play and when it doesn't function properly, it reaks havoc on how other organs do their jobs.  

Dammit, thyroid! Do your job!  

Below is a great link that I found to be very informative in explaining function and symptoms.  I hope you get something out of it as well.


Stop Thyroid Weight Gain in its tracks and get your body back--Ingredients to add and eliminate for optimal Thyroid health.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Difference Between Your "Tipping Point" and Just Tipping The Scales

I've been thinking these past few days.  Well, probably overthinking. If you learn anything about me, learn this. I am one of those people who overthinks.  I mean, I over think about overthinking. Whoever made this, apparently knew me, because at least a half dozen people have sent it to me.
I've been overthinking about otherthinking again.

Now, in all fairness to me (which is not a luxury I usually afford for myself), I am working on this and have made great strides.  

Anyway, I have been working my sweet fanny off all weekend and trying to come up with a topic for a post that I was having trouble finding the time to write.  Overthinking wasn't really necessary. I had made the request to my facebook friends to let me know what they wanted to know and got a number of good suggestions.  So, I'm going to start using them toniiiiiiight!  

The following comment was left for me by Charlene Prehatny Ryan, a long time family friend who I've known since I was born. 

"I'm interested in knowing what actually pushed you over the edge to make a change...get disciplined about it...and keep it going." 

This is a good question for the simple reason that, the answer probably isn't what everyone might expect it to be.  Confused?  Intrigued?  Skeptical?  I can't blame you.  Here's the thing.  I can't tell you about all girls who grew up big.  I can't give you concrete answers about what we all think like or how we all feel, but I can tell you what I felt, thought, and dealt with on this topic.  

So, let's get down to business...
This made everything in my life better. Mister, I'll make a man out of you. Thanks, Stephanie!
Did I not warn you about random Disney references?  Oops. 
Finding my tipping point, or the moment that pushed me "over the edge" wasn't exactly like the epiphanies that you see in movies.  It was a drawn out thing and maybe that's because I wasn't looking for it.  I look back with a certain amount of self-shaming knowledge that I didn't look for it because I was in denial that I needed to change.  I had spent so much time gaining and losing that I had basically resigned myself to thinking that it was a cycle that I didn't have control over anymore, so why worry about it?  Que sera, sera and all that...


Real Talk:

  • I stopped getting on a scale when it said 260+lbs.  

  • There are no pictures of me in existence from when I weighed more that 250lbs.  I became a plus-sized ninja if it meant avoiding a camera.  I was good.  I'd spent my whole life hearing that the camera adds 10lbs, which was bad enough, but then I saw a quote that brought things into focus (pun intended)...
There are no bad pictures

Thanks, Abe. That's just what I needed to hear.  Dick.

So, I was big.  I wasn't changing anything though.  I'd promise myself that I'd start Monday, or next week or after the holidays, or my birthday or when I had a day off or any other day that I could put off.  In short, I wasn't ready.  Tipping the scales wasn't enough to be my tipping point.  Seeing the numbers climb was mortifying, but if you didn't get on a scale, then you didn't have to see it, right?  

Another thing was, I was uncomfortable.  I'm not talking about how I looked, which wasn't something I was happy with, but what I mean is that I wasn't comfortable physically. EV-ER.  If I was laying down, my body hurt.  If I was sitting, I couldn't sit still.  If I was standing, my joints hated me. 

Then, in November of 2011, two things happened.  

1. I got a job in the bakery at Costco Wholesale after 10 months of being unemployed.
2. My dad and uncle Jeffrey brought me a new car (I'd been without wheels for some time).

The car meant that my picture had to be taken since my dad was so excited to surprise me, but my new job became my tipping point.  

If you've never worked in a restaurant or kitchen, let me tell you--it's physical work.  A bakery the size of Costco's is even more so.  During Thanksgiving week, our average pie sales look something like this...
 
From Monday through Wednesday, we sell--
  • 2,000-2,500 pumpkin pies
  • approximately 1,000 apple pies
  • 500+ pecan pies along with all of your other favorites...
    • butter croissants
    • danish
    • muffins
    • cookies
    • breads
    • dinner rolls
    • bagels
      • You get the idea, right?  Every one of those items has to be packaged, labeled and stocked by bakery staff. That's a lot of bending, twisting, lifting, stretching--
While there is a great amount of pleasure to be had for a foodie working with this amount of tastiness, you can imagine that it's hard to stay away from  it all.  I tested treats at the beginning--telling myself that I had to know how things tasted if people asked how they were.  Then, during that week of giving thanks, I realized something had to give, preferably before my zipper did.  
 
Yeah, that's not me, but that's a Costco bakery alright.

I was closing the bakery each night and as I was straightening croissants on the rack, I realized that unless I used my arms to pull myself up the rack, I couldn't get up.  That's not an exaggeration.  My knees couldn't get me back up.  I was getting home every night and practically weeping with relief when I got to a hot shower.  

That was it.  That was when I knew.  Something had to be done.  I couldn't work or play comfortably and both are things that are pretty big deals as far as I was concerned.  

It was with that reserve that I got through Thanksgiving and promptly made an appointment to have blood work done with my doctor.  I already knew what he'd say--I'd known for 2 years that I had hypothyroid disease, but without health insurance, I'd not been medicated or treated for a year.  It wasn't until this point that I realised how stupid I'd been to deny myself that treatment.  

More about the medical side of things next time...

For now, I'll leave you with this--

People can tell you that it's unhealthy for you to be overweight daily--
You can dislike how you look because of your weight--
You can become embittered due to how you're treated within society because of your weight--
You can hide from scales, cameras, social settings and physical activities--
Others can tell you what you should be eating or how you should be exercising--
but--
 
You are the only one who will decide when you're ready to change.  
You are the only one who can decide what needs to change.  
You are the only one who can implement those changes.

Untimately, you are responsible for finding your own way.  Others may walk beside you on the road, but you've got to be the one who decides where you're going.  In the end, you need only to tip the scales in your own favor and make a decision to change...

You Decide. Very powerful message to take control of something so precious.....your life. www.innatepd.com