mo·tive
I've read that the top motives for murder are as follows:
- gain (i.e. money)
- revenge
- jealousy
- personal vendetta
Oddly enough, most people would say that these are top motives for anything. If you ask people about getting healthy and what their motives are, they'll probably say, "I just wanted to get healthy!" To this I say, "Child please. We both know there are other motivating factors!" Not that there is anything wrong with that. There isn't. I'm for whatever motive gets you off your ass and moving. So let's talk about your anterior and your ulterior motives.
an·te·ri·or
anˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
- 1.nearer the front
ul·te·ri·or
ˌəlˈti(ə)rēər/
adjective
- existing beyond what is obvious or admitted; intentionally hidden.
Just about everyone (including myself) will tell you that they lost weight to get healthy or to feel better and while yes, this is a huge reason behind doing all that work, there are some other reasons that exist that many people think they should be ashamed of. For instance:
- To look good
- Ain't nothing wrong with that! Most of us were raised that you should take some pride in your appearance. For me, I was sick of having to hunt for large sizes. I'd see cute things and half the time they weren't even available in plus sizes. As I started to drop weight, I started to realize that I wasn't hiding from my mirrors as much.
- Spite
- Ahh, spite. The very notion of doing something just because someone told you that you couldn't. Spite was also a motivator for me at one time. There were times that I'd hear the whispers of people discussing how maybe I'd lose a few pounds, but I'd never be able to get to the weight that I'd set as my goal. I hope that these people are reading this so that I may affectionately tell them to suck it.
- Revenge
- We've all had that breakup that ends up being better than any diet imaginable. The one where you just can't eat. Well, usually, within the first few pounds that disappear from a broken heart, you plotting to look your best so that he or she knows what they gave up, those heartless assholes! Yeah, been there too.
- Personal Gains
- I spent a number of years waiting tables. It was fun for the most part and I was good at it. There is one ugly truth in the serving industry though; the more "attractive" you are, the more money you're gonna make. Don't get me wrong, I made money, but as I said before--I was good at my job. If you'd taken me and one of the trimmer girls on the floor, she always seemed to make more money than I did. Go to your local bars--9 out of 10 times, the bartenders will be beautifully figured women regardless of talent. Please, do not mistake my saying this as me saying that all slim women are dumb or incompetent. I'm just saying that in a society that holds a certain standard of beauty, to make money, using your pretty helps. I was told on more than one occasion in the bars where I worked that I'd be a great bartender, if I just looked the part. Sad, but true.
So, here's the thing. I'm not saying that any of the above are "bad" motives. They work in the short term, BUT beware you'll need something bigger if you want to succeed. The danger of taking the above motives too far, is that they can turn you into an angry person if things don't go the way you plan. If you're reading this then you probably already know that life rarely goes the way we plan. Look at the big picture here. Get healthy and while you're doing that, you'll be hitting all the little ulterior motives at the same time. Think of it as a bonus and if things do go the way you planned, then you'll be hitting the jackpot.
Find what motivates you and remind yourself of it every day.
Every. Damn. Day.
Please share what motivates you in the comments below and you can also follow me on twitter at @unfinishedswan.
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