Regardless of all that, I thought since I'm short on time tonight (I'm mooching free wifi from the Starbucks where I work), I'd take a few minutes to relay some of the more idiotic things people have said to be both when I was heavier and now that I've lightened my personal load.
I understand that when you've known someone for a long time (even as an acquaintance), sometimes you might get a little too comfortable and overstep your boundaries. This happened when I first started working at Costco. Working in my warehouse was a woman who used to be a busser when I worked at Shula's On The Beach in Fort Lauderdale. We'd known each other while we were both there, but I'd by no means, classify us as "friends". She wasn't the most industrious person and with at least 20 years of age between us, we didn't really have anything to talk about.
About a month into me working at Costco, I was leaving the warehouse while she was working at the door (checking receipts and whatnot). I had her look in my purse to make sure I'd not pilfered any big screen TV's or a few dozen batteries and as I was about to walk away, she pulled me to one side of the door. "Mamaaaa," she looked so concerned before asking, "are you pregnant? You got so fat since we worked together! You have baby, right?" Every woman who has been wrongly questioned about pregnancy can attest to the red haze that suddenly rolls over your vision when this happens. It's like the world spins for a moment, everything gets red and foggy and you can't really breathe normally. Thankfully, I don't have full blown anger issues. No, I wouldn't kill anyone. I won't commit to not wanting to maim anyone though.
In this situation in particular, I was especially offended. (side note: anyone who knows me, knows that it's almost impossible to offend me.) It's not as if this woman was a damn supermodel! No, she's damn near trollish by all accounts. Seriously, picture a troll in your mind. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Got it?
Does this help?
So, who the hell thinks it's a good idea to call me out on my chubbiness? Did she think that it could have somehow escaped me that I was fat? Was she under the impression that I didn't own mirrors? Either way I was shocked when I shook my head to signal that, NO, I was sure as hell NOT pregnant. My friends would usually tell you that I'm a master at the witty retort, but for a second, I was caught flat footed. Luckily for me, it was only a second. Before I walked away, I just smiled and said, "No, I'm not pregnant, Mama. I'm working on it though. I'm just glad I'm still young enough to do something about it. I'd hate to get to your age and then realize I was beyond help." Her eyes got wide--I smiled my sweetest smile and walked away.
Now, let me be clear about something. I don't believe it's every too late to get healthy and start doing things right. BUT, if you're gonna play dirty by asking such a personal and damn near intrusive question, I will go there and hit you below the knees. I'll be tactful about it, but you will in fact learn your lesson.
Again at work, recently, I saw a member who I've known for years. Their family shops pretty often, but I'd not seen them as of late. When I did, we spoke for a bit and while the wife politely complimented me and asked about I'd done, her husband suddenly said, "Wow, I'll bet your sex life is so much better now! You can probably get it whenever you want it!" I'm not sure who was more rattled by the statement; me, his wife, or him when he realized how furious she was.
I'm of the opinion that knowing your audience in any setting is important. You've got to know what you can say and where you need to draw the line. In this case, I figured given where he'd just drawn the line, I could go pretty damn far. So...I did.
"Well, not that it would be anyone's business, but I've never had an issue there. Oh, and two other things. 1. I'm a woman and can therefore always get it whenever I want it. And 2. I dropped weight, not my fucking morals."
I'm not sure this post really has a moral to the story today. That might be because I'm exhausted. Or it could be just a PSA to say, "BE PREPARED." You're gonna hear all sorts or weird things along the way. Some people will be happy for you., some will hate you. If nothing else, you will learn who your friends are. Also, if I could recommend one thing through all the BS people will say to you--keep your sense of humor about things. You're gonna need it.
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